He couldn’t tell her

He couldn’t tell her,

That he kept scrolling down her pictures

When everyone was asleep,

As tears rolled down his cheek

When she smiled,

How it was strong enough

To change landscapes

How she deserved the world and

She was incredibly naive

To love someone like him


He couldn’t tell her

How he wished to hold her hand

And pull her into a tight hug,

That she’d struggle to escape.

How he wanted to trace the length

Of the city on her back,

All the way down

Till her breathing slowed,

And her pulsating heart

Made him feel alive.


He couldn’t tell her

How he remembered every microscopic detail

Of their lives together,

How he was still with her in the

Parallel universe,

And how he’d still hear her voice

Find her face in the crowd;

Her anxious eyes would still

Look out for him,

How she’d wade through all beautiful faces

To run into him

Oh! How he wished he was brave

Like her.


But it was too late,

He wished her away.

He couldn’t tell her,

How much he wanted her to stay



“You won’t ever understand”, I said as I slammed the door on his face. It was important to me. I was tired explaining to family, friends and him about loss. Sometimes I wanted to slam the metaphorical door on everyone’s noses till they shut the hell about how it was okay. It wasn’t! It would never be. It killed me, my dreams were all about it and it was just a day. I was almost dying and food didn’t taste the same. I yearned and searched everywhere. How can you lose something this important in a matter of hours? Something that you look at so much of love and care. And here I had people convincing me about how it was PMS and how things like this normally happen.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? When every time you react, people think you have periods. I wanted it back again. The sweetness, the crunch and all of it. I called my office to tell them, “Family emergency, not coming.” Like they’d understand my pain.
That moment my life was at its worst, no man no alcohol no nicotine would replace what I lost.

Finally, I was tired, I slept on the floor mourning, tears flowed down one after the other. How! I wondered. There was no point now. My hopes diminished and my life looked bleak. Just yesterday, the sunset seemed so perfect, and today it was gone.

As I was finally about to close my weary eyes, the message notification brought life back. As I saw his message, I exclaimed, “Oh that’s where you were my love, I almost thought I lost you.” The message read out, “Hey crazy, before you set the world on fire, just check under the couch, you might find it there, and please cut down on the drama, please! And also let me know if it’s safe to come back home.”

And I found my lost cookie under the couch exactly like his message said.